Birthday.

Today was my birthday, not very exciting nor too boring. I've had my expectations set on what it was going to be like today, but things didnt go as I hoped. I didnt think some girl would make me cry and I'd freak out when I saw the gun for my ear piercing. And there was no fighting, which is amazing considering that my family doesnt stop fighting.

-All My Love For You Is Gone

Life.

So many things are runnning through my head right now. And life is one of them, I kind of figured life would be like this, but its so hard. Things arent the way I immagined things would be like. I thought I'd be more mellow and more friendly. If I change would thing get better? Because all I feel that is going on in my life is people pushing me around thining they can do what they want. And sooner or later I'm just gunna scream in their face and walk away. Its not the first time I would freak out at someone either.

Listen to my Kelsey story. I was sitting in art and she starts making fun of me. Saying that I have no boobs and Im a ginger. It wasnt the first time that she made fun of me and I was done with the bullshit I got from her. So I yelled at her and earlier she almost made me cry. She then yelled at me and I ran out of the room crying. I hated it and maybe since I stuck up for myself that since then she really hasnt talked to me. I like it.

School in general is going better, my grades are getting higher and my friendship with people are ok. Things arent the same as they were in Jenkins. I got boyfriends, and I got problems with people and with myself. Last year after my boyfriend broke up with me I stopped eating at school. I didnt think it was a big deal untill my friends who care about me told the nurse and I had to talk about it. After that I didnt tell anyone when I was eating or not. I then got better and more healthy, and I got heavier. I am now 107 pounds. I feel better about myself and dont find many things wrong with myself.

Like You.

I'm not like every girl. My hair isnt always perfect. I dont have the greates body, and my thighs arent skinny or very thin. Im never on a diet, but not over weight, I'm actually underweight.

Im not always mommys little girl, I love the color black and wear it as much as i can. I want my lip pierced and I have my cartliage pierced. I'm getting my nosee pierced when i turn 15. I hate the phrase "yeeeee kiiiiid". I got told today that I shouldnt "ruin my perfect body" with all the piercings i want. I dont exactly think i have a perfect body, nor anywhere colse to perfect.

I consider myself a pretty normal person. Im quiet and shy and try not to get in peoples way. I try not to stand out but the color of my hair makes it hard. Im not one of those girls that wear all pink and I dont wear shorts or skirts that often, only on special occasions. Im more like I wear black, studded belts and skinny jeans. I dont wear "pretty pink" jewlery. Actually right now im wear a shit load of braclets and black tape along my left wrist. I dont suppose that you might comment on "its covering up you cuts" cuz thats my brothers theory.

I dont sit with girls at lunch, all though i could. I sit at an all boy table. Im told that i make the table complete, I make the most sad moments happiest. I dont exactly get what they are talking about but I decide not to tell them that. I hate when a girl comes over to flirt with one of them, its like do you not see me here. Cuz apperently I'm invisable, I got this whole table under my comand so back the fuck off. Flirt with them some other time cuz I'm done with you.

-All My Love For You Is Gone