Him.

Ok, well theres this kid right? And I like him a lot. Like 3 years I've liked him for. I've seen him before i finally found out his name but I never thought of him as someone I'd like. Then I saw him at Camp Bourndale, and I coulnt sleep the first night because I couldnt stop thinking about him. I've told him that I like him but he just doesnt get it, hes not like other guys. Hes more calm and shy, thats what I like in a guy. He has longish brownish hair with like green/blue eyes(I think), hes a bit taller than I, and he plays sports. Other than me knowing that, you can tell by the way guys walk if they play sports or not. Then he has the greatest smile I have ever seen. I dont know why but Im deffinitally inlove with his smile, his look and his attitude. I dont know what could be better than him, other than like Max Green. But hes 23=/, and this other kid who I will call Shea is 13, I think. But the point of this entry is to say that I dont know what to do anymore, I've changed so much for him its not even funny. Im more sad than I was before I meet him 3 years ago. Thanks for reading.

Awkward.

Ok, well theres this kid rite? And hes kind of like inlove with me, atleast he acts it. So, you know about Shea right? I hope you do, I'll write one about him in a few. But anyways, hes all like "if things dont work out.." and I'm like either way, I'd never date you. I mean like hes nice and all but hes my bestfriends ex, I dont go that way. I wish that he never said a word to me, and then what makes it worse is that hes bestfriends with one of my ex's. Im like uh no, Im not going to date you. But I havnt told him that yet, haha sorry if your reading this. But anyways, so I was like talking to him a while ago, and I was going along what he was saying, then his MOM is like "I think you both should sign off" and Im like shit, screw this. So I thought that was my chance to never talk to him again, since I hate telling kids I dont like them. So then he starts talking to me again and Im like oh shit kid come on, he hasnt noticed that I dont like him yet. Now Im doing shit like saying I love rap, which I do but sometimes but like not all the time. But sometimes this kid can really piss me off, and its getting annoying. I hate to tell him but he has no chance, hes really not my type. I mean like seriously, hes like a pyro... Not my type, unless he was like mad hot, but he isnt. Hes into metal, I am too but I dont hate rap and all that jazz. Its kind of annoying that he doesnt really like my music and hes a creep too. He rode his bike outside of my friends house for 4 hours waiting for her to get home, if thats not creepy then what is. I dont want to go out with someone if their going to be like that. Sorry, I know your reading this. Sucks for you.

Friends?

Ok well i dont get my friends sometimes. They pretend to be friends with someone but turn around and talk about them behind their backs, its pathetic. I dont even think we'r all friends at all, just people that are wondering in the same path, calling eachother and talking to eachother. Whats become of this, must stop. Either we go our seprate ways or someone will get hurt, most likely to be me. Im the skinniest and I've had the most boyfriends in the "group". Theres this one girl, Katie*, shes always complainning about something. Either its her bf, or something "bad" thats happening at home. But never about shit that people actually care about. I really dont care about how your boyfriend just called you, or how you want to break up with him because it sounds all the same to me. Sitting at the end of my bed with my dog, as she sleeps in my bed uninvited. I feel like somethings are never going to change with her. She thinks shes the bitch by taking my shit and running with it, its like no actually u just took my iPod and gave it to someone else. Because thats so fucking cool, I'd love to take your phone and snap it in half. But nope, thats not going to happen. Because of you, my life is 10 times worse, your like my parents, I WAS preppy and pretty, but ever since the things that they do, I've became who I am today.